Geniusness Confirmed

Yep, it's been confirmed. I'm a genius. While this shouldn't be too surprising considering my most excellent and genius genes, and also considering the fact that I'm the youngest blogger ever to have lived, it's always nice to have confirmation.

So, the confirmation came in the form of me rolling over. That's right, I'm only seven weeks old and I rolled over all by myself. It happened when my mom set me on my tummy and left the room to do whatever it is adults do in the kitchen. I pushed myself up with my arms and, shazam, by the time my mom returned, I was much more happily laying on my back, gazing up at the ceiling with my cute little baby girl eyes.

Until next time, that's (my brilliant) life thus far.

Dang, Am I Cute or What?

Time is flying by. It seems like just yesterday I was starting this site, still suckin' on amniotic fluid. And now, I'm five weeks old on the Outside, livin' the good life.

Here I am chillin' in one of my many blankies:

Here I am with my Grams:

This is me in my work out clothes, ready to run like Rocky Balboa, baby:

Here I am with my Grandpa Russ, Uncle Ian, and dad:

This is my folks and me right before my Grandpa Dave's birthday dinner:

This is my Grandpa Dave, hamming it up, and my Grandma smiling like crazy while holding me, like usual:

And here... well, this is just the I'm-too-stinking-cute-for-words shot:


Until next time that's (my already-having-to-deal-with-paparazzi) life thus far.

The Website Formerly Known as LifeThusFar.com

Okay, so it's still known as LifeThusFar.com—I'm not going Prince on you or anything—but there are a couple changes happening, as you may have noticed if you are one of my very few but very cool regular readers. First of all, Blogger (the company that hosts this content for free and is another one of the multiple brands owned by the beast that is Google) made some many needed and long overdue upgrades to their blogging service for people far less technically inclined—i.e. Me.

What are these so called great new features I speak of?

Tagging capabilities. You'll notice that you can now view my previous posts by topic. For instance, if you just want to see posts with photos of me and my family (which, of course, how could you not?) just click the photos link under TAGS on the sidebar. This is a sweet, long awaited addition, in my opinion.

Posts as permalinks. Instead of clicking on the permalink I used to have at the bottom of each post, you can now just click the post titles to visit the permanent link for each little write-up.

Hierarchial archiving. Under the GOIN' WAY BACK NOW section of the sidebar, you can just click the arrows and have some fun. It's a pretty self-explanatory, but way cool feature.

Now, having said all that, Blogger made some other changes that made it impossible for me to keep some of my wicked sweet past blood-and-sweat-and-tear-added features. Primarily, I can't figure out how to transfer over my ultra sweet header and logo. I hope this will change and I'll be able to figure out how to re-add that artwork so LifeThusFar.com continues rocking your face off as it should.

Until next time, that's (my occasionally geeky) life thus far.

This Baby Business is Tough

Being a baby, it's tough work. I mean, it's tiring. People keep telling me how easy I have it—my parents change my diapers, wipe me down, dress me, bathe me, hold me, carry me, swaddle me, feed me. But you know what, it's a lot harder than it sounds on my end. Complete and utter dependency is not always as sweet as it seems.

Getting fed is especially tougher than it sounds. I mean, you're not exactly eating something with a fork. You're trying to latch on to a boob. A boob, for crying out loud! It's not as easy as you would think.

Everything else about life is pretty good—my family's great, I live in a good neighborhood, I'm healthy—but just don't go assuming this baby thing is as easy as it looks. My little fingers are once again tired of typing, so until next time, that's (my tiring, but otherwise excellent) life thus far.

Okay, I Made It!

Well, I finally made it. That's right, on September 18, 2006, at 18:39 (don't ask me how I know military time), I, Riley C. entered this fine world, healthy and, as I'm told by almost everyone that holds me, beautiful. It was quite the journey. But now, I'm here. On the Outside.

This is me right after I tunneled my way out of my mom's womb... yeah, I'm a bit gooey:

This is me getting my first bath:


This is me sucking on my dad's thumb:

This is me and my dad just hangin' out together:

I'm sure there's going to be a lot to write about, but I really don't have much to say right now. Things aren't much more eventful than they were inside my mom's womb. I mean, I still sleep a lot, eat as much as I can, and that's pretty much my life. The coolest thing is I finally got to hear my own voice.

My parents seem pretty cool, though they're not quite the night owls that I am. What can I say, I like to sleep during the day and stay up at night?! I'm growing accustomed to a more regular schedule, though.

Well, I'll surely have more to say, but just wanted to give a shout out to all of you peeps who have been praying for my protection and safe arrival... they paid off. If I haven't met you yet in person, I look forward to doing so really soon. Drop by anytime.

Until next time, that's (my ultra blessed and finally tangible) life thus far.

A Letter from My Dad

Riley,

Eloquence does not come easily. Words that, upon their reading flow fluidly off the tongue do not await picking like fruit in ripened groves. They seem hard to come by these days, rare, and while the thoughts silently sound well formed as they invisibly cycle and float and pass through my head, they never seem to read as well on paper as I imagine they will when they suspend themselves in the unfilled room of my consciousness.

I begin with this statement not because I seek a false sense of humility, or even sympathy for that matter, but because I desire to explain my inexplicable love for you as accurately and completely as possible with these words. If I was eloquent or, at the very least, capable enough to choose the most expressive of words and arrange them in passages that articulated this heart that undeniably lies in your ownership, I would thank God for such occasion and assistance. But, since it remains in the decision of Him and Him alone how these words and sentences and paragraphs construct, please recognize, in the very least, my intent.

Having disclaimed with this, allow me to attempt this nearly impossible task.

In six weeks, or at the very least, four, we shall meet for the first time. Face to face, eye to eye, I shall finally behold you. After nine months, even years wondering what my first child will look like, sound like… who they will be… I will hold you in my arms, hear you, speak to you, calm you and, I am confident, find myself overwhelmed by joy and emotion and love at the mere sight of you.

Yet, while I look forward to that day, I need not that moment to fall in love with you. No. You, my precious and beautiful girl, are already greatly loved. Knowing nothing more than your name and the movements I can feel as you roll and kick in your mother’s womb, you have captivated me. Minutes are lost entirely as I think of you and pray for you and day dream of our future memories ahead.

There are fatherly things to be said and taught and reminded that will surely follow this day—years of such things—but for now (and always), all I desire is that you know this very simple truth above others: I love you. With every breath and bone in my body, until the day I pass from this life into the eternal one awaiting me and all other followers of Christ, you have my unconditional and inexpressible love.

While it may not read as eloquently as the heart pounding inside my chest for you would hope, optimist that I am, I remain confident that you shall understand this truth, at least to some extent, someday in the near or distant future.

With a love these words fail to fully capture,

Dad

What Will It Be Like?

Like my old man, I, too, have no idea what any of this means. This being born thing that is.

I mean, what's it going to be like on the Outside? What will my parents act like when I'm out there? How am I going to react when I actually have to wear diapers and clothes? What's earth look like, smell like, feel like? What will I eat and how much will I like it all? There are so many questions and so few answers until I get out there.

That's it, I think I'm going to try and break out of this joint early. I can't take the suspense much longer. It may not happen, but I'll try. I happened to catch this show last season while I was still developing my ears and eyes and brain and stuff, and I think it captures the spirit of my future attempt well:

Until next time, that's (my extremely curious and impatient) life thus far.

Little Room for Style

I had no clue it was so uncomfortable being pregnant. I mean, I thought I had the tough job, all contorted and crammed in here. But, apparently not. My mom recently wrote about what she likes and doesn't like about being pregnant and let me tell you, it doesn't sound all that fun.

On a more blog-related note, I know I haven't been writing much lately, but it's really hard fitting a keyboard in the tiny space I have left anymore. I tried watching HGTV's Small Space, Big Style show for some ideas, but I haven't seen anything yet on how to make the most of a 18"x18" floorplan. Good thing I didn't end up having a twin brother or sister. That would have been insanely stifling and, likely, not a great way to start our siblinghood.

Well, that's all I got for now. My cute little fingers are getting tired. Until next time, that's (my not-as-uncomfortable-as-I-once-thought-but-still-compact) life thus far.

A Little Bump On The Road

Well, it was quite the weekend indeed. A bumpy one. On Friday, my mom got rear-ended and, while I didn't feel the actual crash too much, I definitely felt my mom's adrenaline spike. For the full story, you can check it out here.

Not too much else is going on. I've been getting the hiccups a lot and I'm growing, growing, growing away. Honestly, I'm quite ready to pop this joint. I want it to be a very grand entrance, though. Something memorable. So I'm going to try and wait a little longer.

Until next time, that's (my occasionally bumpy) life thus far.

Independence Day and the Rockettes

It sounds like I missed quite the show with my folks this past week. Oh well. I definitely have many Independence Days ahead of me. And I think the best Independence Day will be when I get out of this crammed womb.

As you can guess, things are getting tighter. Much tighter. It's difficult to roll around at all. All I can really do right now is stretch for a couple moments and/or kick. My mom told me that becoming a professional Rockette might be in my future. We'll see.


But, on the other side of the token, or more accurately, my mom's tummy, this isn't comfortable for her either. I'm getting bigger. I weigh roughly three pounds now and, while that may not seem like much to any of you, it takes a toll when those three pounds are movin' and groovin' inside your body as much as I am. It's alright though. Just two and a half more months and my mom won't have to deal with me inside her anymore. Then it's a whole new world. For both my parents and me.

Until next time, that's (my increasingly squeezed and co-dependent) life thus far.

Increasing Excitement

My parents seem pretty excited. And all things considered, I guess they should be. Check out a little news from their perspective. Oh, and you'll get a couple snapshots of my room-to-be, which isn't half bad if I do say so myself.

Until next time, that's (my well parented) life thus far.

The Ceremonial Decoration of The Newborn's Room

First of all, I know it's been a little while since I last posted so you'll have to forgive me. I'm growing like crazy and, as a result, I'm pretty tired. So, I'm sleeping most of my days away. Plus, it's getting so crammed in here with my growth that it's hard to fit a keyboard in here to type. Oh well, I'll keep posting what I can.

Now, about life. There hasn't been too much going on other than the above stated growth. The only really cool thing that's happened is my parents started working on my room. Painting, reflooring, decorating, the whole works. My dad said he'll try to email me some pictures soon, but who knows how long that will take. They're painting the room a really light blueish purple, with a nice solid purple trim and white bordering. They also bought some nice pictures and a really bright pink rug. I can't wait to see it! Unfortunately, I do have a couple more months until I get to chill on The Outside. My mom already bought me a onesie in anticipation of how much I'll like my room. It reads, "Crib Potato." Yeah, that sounds like me.

Until next time, that's (my very sleepy and ultra sweetly decorated) life thus far.

Yo Mom, Stop Crampin' My Style

For the life of me, I could not get comfortable last night. I kept moving around, trying to find that just-right spot, but eventually, I just gave up. I don't think my mom was too happy about it as it was pretty late. But gosh, I need some more room. Maybe I will be sliding out of this joint early after all. It's too cramped for my taste. I need room to breathe. I need... freedom. If you want to know what it's like as a fetus, it feels like this (only without the salt):


Until next time, that's (my very cramped) life thus far.

The Pet Pleading Begins

I'm not even born yet and I already want a pet. How could you not when, just minding your own business, surfing the web from your mom's uterus, OH MY GOSH! You come across pictures like these...

Okay everybody, clap if you agree I should get a pet already!

Their powers of cuteness overwhelms. If you want some more of the cutest living things in the world (next to me, that is), check out Cute Overload for all your unbelievably adorable, pet-lovin' needs.

Until next time, that's (my way too cute but pet-deprived) life thus far.

My Parents Are Scared

According to my parents' latest blog post, they're scared. While I may not fully understand the depths of their fears, I appreciate them. I mean, even though the concept of true, deeply-seeded fear is still a little beyond me, I know that my mom and dad hold their parenting related fears because they both love me more than I can understand. In fact, I probably won't understand the level to which they love me until I myself am preparing for parenthood. From my point of view, their fear is even a little comforting. Because it shows me they're just as unprepared to be parents as I am to enter the world. They're every day people, fears and all.

Mom, Dad, if you're reading this, don't worry about it so much. I'll try to be obedient so you won't have to discipline me, Mom. And Dad, I know you're going to be fun... I can hear it in your voice and the way you make mom laugh. Sure, I'm going to have my frustrating moments, but in all the truth I can muster, I know you both love me more than I can explain. Knowing that, I can set aside my biggest fears.

Until next time, that's (my beautiful and blessed) life thus far.

The Photogenic Fetus That Is Me

People have been asking my parents about the last ultrasound a lot lately. And considering the fact that no one other than my parents have actually seen me yet, my parents and I decided it would be nice to show you a couple snapshots from my latest photo opportunity.

First, here's my big toe for which my mom nicknamed me "Big Toe Magoo." According to her, I've unwillingly inherited my dad's oddly curved toes. Thanks, dad.

Next, here's a nice little profile shot. I may not have the most distinguished of features yet, but as you might be able to see here, it looks as if I have a really big nose and some very voluptuous lips. We'll see if it stays that way.

If you're still not convinced I'm a girl, here's the picture to make you think otherwise. What you may think appears like a boy part is actually just the umbilical cord. Yes, I'm very much a girl.

Lastly, here's a nice little face shot. I would have waved, but my arm muscles are still developing. My eyes and brain look a little hollow here, but don't worry, that's just fluid. I am fully in tact.

Well, those are the only photos worth showing for now. Wait a couple more months and I'll have some much better shots for you. Also, I think my dad's been taking pictures of my mom's belly so you can see what I'm doing to stretch her... literally.

Until next time, that's (my incredibly photographic) life thus far.

The Beauty and Requests of Voices

It hasn't been long that I've had ears to hear what's going on outside my mom's womb. The distinct beauty and uniqueness to each person's voice amazes me. Most of the voices sound like mere murmers from inside here, but when the voices are loud enough or someone is close enough to my mom, I can hear very clearly. Last night there were two distinct sounds I heard that I am still pondering and remembering.

The first of the sounds was music. I've heard the music my mom and dad play already—Miles Davis, Jack Johnson, Damien Rice, Al Green, Counting Crows, and a variety of others—and it's not bad by any means. But this music was noticably different. Instead of the voices projecting through a speaker, it was as if hundreds of people were gathered together, singing in unison a song that clearly represented meaning to them. Songs about the glory of "God," his worthiness, how much they love him and what he's done. You should have heard all the voices. They were beautiful.

The second thing I heard which I can't stop thinking about were my mom's and dad's voices. It wasn't the sound of their voices that made it stand out, but more importantly, what they said. From what I could hear, they were talking to their father. With their hands pressed up against my mom's belly (I can feel that stuff), they asked their dad to instill within me a desire and yearning for purity. They requested that I would have wisdom and that their father would protect me from any harm or ill intent. This is one of many requests I've listened in to. I'm not exactly sure what everything they requested of their father meant, or even why they requested the things they did, but I do know they made those requests together because they love me.

At the end of their request, I heard them mention that "God" name again. I've heard him mentioned over and over now. While I've only had ears for a short time, I hear my parents saying his name incredibly often. I don't know who this God person is yet, but I sure am interested to find out more about him and meet him. Someday.

Until next time, that's (my continuous learning experience of) life thus far.

A Little History For Ya

I might as well start from the beginning...

2005

October 22
After a stupid long engagement (nine months), my parents finally tied the knot. It supposedly turned out pretty good. I don't know. I wasn't there.

Somewhere Between December 7-14
My parents had unprotected sex and wouldn't you guess it, I was conceived. I'll spare you the details.

2006

January 16
After seven pregnancy tests (yes, seven), my mom finally let the shock set in and accepted the fact that she was pregnant. Meanwhile, my father was jumping around the house like a maniac in his boxers. You can read my parents' full reaction here.

May 4
Surprise! My parents found out I was very much not a boy. As a result, they quickly stopped calling me Kyle and picked my way cooler (and appropriately female) name, Riley. Read all about the big surprise here.

May 10
Upon hearing the news that my mom was going to give birth to "a chick," one of my dad's highschool freshmen students said, "I bet she's going to be hot." Ah, the battle of the boys begins.

May 15
I got hiccups for the first time. My parents were pumped for no good reason and kept pushing in on my already cramped living space. I guess you get excited about stuff like that when you're old. You can read about my hiccup problem here.

May 16
I began this blog, thereby forevering change the face of the planet by voicing the butt naked truth about life thus far from the eyes of the youngest blogger ever to have lived.

September 18
After a long and very cramped, dark nine months, at 18:39, I finally made it to the Outside. Read all about the big event here. Or from my parents' perspectives, here.

September 24
My parents didn't waste anytime at all getting back to life as usual. So, I can say that the first movie I saw in the theatre, was Jackass: Number Two. Seriously. I'm not kidding. Though I couldn't make much of it out considering I slept the entire time.

November 7
While it probably wasn't too hard to figure out, my geniusness was confirmed the day I rolled over all by myself... at only seven-weeks old. That's one to four months ahead of schedule, in case you were wondering.

Keep checking back here for history as it happens. Until next time, that's (my historically accurate but fairly uneventful) life thus far.

Ew... Gross!!!

I finally figured out what's going on "outside." I was rockin' back and forth, back and forth a good long while last night. It happens pretty frequently in the evenings. I had no idea what was going on, but it's always uncomfortable and it kinda makes me throw up a little in my mouth. Anyway, after it stopped, I heard my mom tell my dad, "I wonder what Riley thinks is going on when we have sex." That's right, SEX!

That means they've done "it" more than once. Unbelievable! I'm going to be scarred for life. My parents are having sex while I'm inside my mom's tummy. Totally, 100%, absolutely, super dee duper gross! Could you just hold off a couple months?

Until next time, that's (my sometimes revealing) life thus far.

This HTML Thing Is Tricky

I have to tell you, even though I may be the youngest blogger ever to have lived, thereby implying that I am likely the smartest living fetus on earth, this HTML formatting thing is tricky. I don't even have a completely firm grasp on the English language yet, let alone a programmer's. So, please pardon the mess and lack of cool sidebar stuff. Just keep checking back and I'll be sure to make this one of the sweetest blogs around.

You should also know that instead of remembering this kind of long domain, just visit LifeThusFar.com and you'll be redirected to this blog. Great domain name, huh? My dad helped me pick it out. Thanks again, dad.

Well, there's nothing else really new. Until next time, that's (my somewhat technologically challenged) life thus far.

The Youngest Blogger Ever To Have Lived

First, let me introduce myself. I'm Riley. Riley C. I would tell you more, but my parents are a little strict on the privacy stuff and won't let me give out my full name or anything. Right now, I'm still in my mom's womb, but I figure it's never too early to start getting your voice out there. So here I am.

I know I'm a little behind on the blogging craze, but try to cut me a break... I'm not even born yet, for cryin' out loud. While other fetuses (or is it feti?) might use that as an excuse, though, I decided to get right to it, make the record books as the world's youngest blogger. And rightly so. My parents are fairly good communicators (from what I can hear) and I might as well make 'em proud.

I should probably tell you what got me here, too. I'll cut right to it for you: my parents had sex. Yep. It's as simple as that. My mom is probably thinking twice now that I'm causing her all sorts of discomfort and pain. She doesn't get it, though. It's cramped in here, and if she keeps feeding me the way she has been, I won't have any room at all soon. No worries though, every now and then I give her a good solid kick to let her know who's in charge.

Oh, and yesterday, I almost forgot. I got hiccups for the first time. It was okay for the first little bit, a good new experience and all, but after a while, I was ticked. I had them all stinking day long. From what I could hear on "the outside," my dad said I must have picked up his propensity for getting the hiccups all day. Fantaaaaaastic. Thanks dad. The joys of genetics continue. First my freaking huge, curved big toe and now hiccups.

Well, I'm going to go take a nice long nap now so that I can wake up just in time to kick my mom in the gut as much as possible as she tries to fall asleep. Until next time, that's (my short but otherwise content) life thus far.