Geniusness Confirmed

Yep, it's been confirmed. I'm a genius. While this shouldn't be too surprising considering my most excellent and genius genes, and also considering the fact that I'm the youngest blogger ever to have lived, it's always nice to have confirmation.

So, the confirmation came in the form of me rolling over. That's right, I'm only seven weeks old and I rolled over all by myself. It happened when my mom set me on my tummy and left the room to do whatever it is adults do in the kitchen. I pushed myself up with my arms and, shazam, by the time my mom returned, I was much more happily laying on my back, gazing up at the ceiling with my cute little baby girl eyes.

Until next time, that's (my brilliant) life thus far.

Okay, I Made It!

Well, I finally made it. That's right, on September 18, 2006, at 18:39 (don't ask me how I know military time), I, Riley C. entered this fine world, healthy and, as I'm told by almost everyone that holds me, beautiful. It was quite the journey. But now, I'm here. On the Outside.

This is me right after I tunneled my way out of my mom's womb... yeah, I'm a bit gooey:

This is me getting my first bath:


This is me sucking on my dad's thumb:

This is me and my dad just hangin' out together:

I'm sure there's going to be a lot to write about, but I really don't have much to say right now. Things aren't much more eventful than they were inside my mom's womb. I mean, I still sleep a lot, eat as much as I can, and that's pretty much my life. The coolest thing is I finally got to hear my own voice.

My parents seem pretty cool, though they're not quite the night owls that I am. What can I say, I like to sleep during the day and stay up at night?! I'm growing accustomed to a more regular schedule, though.

Well, I'll surely have more to say, but just wanted to give a shout out to all of you peeps who have been praying for my protection and safe arrival... they paid off. If I haven't met you yet in person, I look forward to doing so really soon. Drop by anytime.

Until next time, that's (my ultra blessed and finally tangible) life thus far.

Independence Day and the Rockettes

It sounds like I missed quite the show with my folks this past week. Oh well. I definitely have many Independence Days ahead of me. And I think the best Independence Day will be when I get out of this crammed womb.

As you can guess, things are getting tighter. Much tighter. It's difficult to roll around at all. All I can really do right now is stretch for a couple moments and/or kick. My mom told me that becoming a professional Rockette might be in my future. We'll see.


But, on the other side of the token, or more accurately, my mom's tummy, this isn't comfortable for her either. I'm getting bigger. I weigh roughly three pounds now and, while that may not seem like much to any of you, it takes a toll when those three pounds are movin' and groovin' inside your body as much as I am. It's alright though. Just two and a half more months and my mom won't have to deal with me inside her anymore. Then it's a whole new world. For both my parents and me.

Until next time, that's (my increasingly squeezed and co-dependent) life thus far.

A Little History For Ya

I might as well start from the beginning...

2005

October 22
After a stupid long engagement (nine months), my parents finally tied the knot. It supposedly turned out pretty good. I don't know. I wasn't there.

Somewhere Between December 7-14
My parents had unprotected sex and wouldn't you guess it, I was conceived. I'll spare you the details.

2006

January 16
After seven pregnancy tests (yes, seven), my mom finally let the shock set in and accepted the fact that she was pregnant. Meanwhile, my father was jumping around the house like a maniac in his boxers. You can read my parents' full reaction here.

May 4
Surprise! My parents found out I was very much not a boy. As a result, they quickly stopped calling me Kyle and picked my way cooler (and appropriately female) name, Riley. Read all about the big surprise here.

May 10
Upon hearing the news that my mom was going to give birth to "a chick," one of my dad's highschool freshmen students said, "I bet she's going to be hot." Ah, the battle of the boys begins.

May 15
I got hiccups for the first time. My parents were pumped for no good reason and kept pushing in on my already cramped living space. I guess you get excited about stuff like that when you're old. You can read about my hiccup problem here.

May 16
I began this blog, thereby forevering change the face of the planet by voicing the butt naked truth about life thus far from the eyes of the youngest blogger ever to have lived.

September 18
After a long and very cramped, dark nine months, at 18:39, I finally made it to the Outside. Read all about the big event here. Or from my parents' perspectives, here.

September 24
My parents didn't waste anytime at all getting back to life as usual. So, I can say that the first movie I saw in the theatre, was Jackass: Number Two. Seriously. I'm not kidding. Though I couldn't make much of it out considering I slept the entire time.

November 7
While it probably wasn't too hard to figure out, my geniusness was confirmed the day I rolled over all by myself... at only seven-weeks old. That's one to four months ahead of schedule, in case you were wondering.

Keep checking back here for history as it happens. Until next time, that's (my historically accurate but fairly uneventful) life thus far.

The Youngest Blogger Ever To Have Lived

First, let me introduce myself. I'm Riley. Riley C. I would tell you more, but my parents are a little strict on the privacy stuff and won't let me give out my full name or anything. Right now, I'm still in my mom's womb, but I figure it's never too early to start getting your voice out there. So here I am.

I know I'm a little behind on the blogging craze, but try to cut me a break... I'm not even born yet, for cryin' out loud. While other fetuses (or is it feti?) might use that as an excuse, though, I decided to get right to it, make the record books as the world's youngest blogger. And rightly so. My parents are fairly good communicators (from what I can hear) and I might as well make 'em proud.

I should probably tell you what got me here, too. I'll cut right to it for you: my parents had sex. Yep. It's as simple as that. My mom is probably thinking twice now that I'm causing her all sorts of discomfort and pain. She doesn't get it, though. It's cramped in here, and if she keeps feeding me the way she has been, I won't have any room at all soon. No worries though, every now and then I give her a good solid kick to let her know who's in charge.

Oh, and yesterday, I almost forgot. I got hiccups for the first time. It was okay for the first little bit, a good new experience and all, but after a while, I was ticked. I had them all stinking day long. From what I could hear on "the outside," my dad said I must have picked up his propensity for getting the hiccups all day. Fantaaaaaastic. Thanks dad. The joys of genetics continue. First my freaking huge, curved big toe and now hiccups.

Well, I'm going to go take a nice long nap now so that I can wake up just in time to kick my mom in the gut as much as possible as she tries to fall asleep. Until next time, that's (my short but otherwise content) life thus far.