A Little History For Ya

I might as well start from the beginning...

2005

October 22
After a stupid long engagement (nine months), my parents finally tied the knot. It supposedly turned out pretty good. I don't know. I wasn't there.

Somewhere Between December 7-14
My parents had unprotected sex and wouldn't you guess it, I was conceived. I'll spare you the details.

2006

January 16
After seven pregnancy tests (yes, seven), my mom finally let the shock set in and accepted the fact that she was pregnant. Meanwhile, my father was jumping around the house like a maniac in his boxers. You can read my parents' full reaction here.

May 4
Surprise! My parents found out I was very much not a boy. As a result, they quickly stopped calling me Kyle and picked my way cooler (and appropriately female) name, Riley. Read all about the big surprise here.

May 10
Upon hearing the news that my mom was going to give birth to "a chick," one of my dad's highschool freshmen students said, "I bet she's going to be hot." Ah, the battle of the boys begins.

May 15
I got hiccups for the first time. My parents were pumped for no good reason and kept pushing in on my already cramped living space. I guess you get excited about stuff like that when you're old. You can read about my hiccup problem here.

May 16
I began this blog, thereby forevering change the face of the planet by voicing the butt naked truth about life thus far from the eyes of the youngest blogger ever to have lived.

September 18
After a long and very cramped, dark nine months, at 18:39, I finally made it to the Outside. Read all about the big event here. Or from my parents' perspectives, here.

September 24
My parents didn't waste anytime at all getting back to life as usual. So, I can say that the first movie I saw in the theatre, was Jackass: Number Two. Seriously. I'm not kidding. Though I couldn't make much of it out considering I slept the entire time.

November 7
While it probably wasn't too hard to figure out, my geniusness was confirmed the day I rolled over all by myself... at only seven-weeks old. That's one to four months ahead of schedule, in case you were wondering.

Keep checking back here for history as it happens. Until next time, that's (my historically accurate but fairly uneventful) life thus far.